In The Head Of My Mental Health

(not made by me, found it trailing the internet)

I’m not going back to college!

So things over summer haven’t gotten any better! My head’s a mess, I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going and it’s led to me having to make a big decision…

 Do I go to college this year or do I not?

There are so many issues to sort out.

If I go to college I’ll have to start the year living on my mums sofa (not the most desirable living situation). If I don’t I can declare myself as homeless and go into temporary accommodation (and get housing benefits which I wouldn’t get if I was a student)
Having a year off will give me a chance to hopefully clear my head, and focus on myself without having to work it around getting college work done. But if I don’t what will I do? Will I end up just wasting away, living on benefits, socially isolating myself?
Would I even be able to focus on college? The summer project they sent me has so far been left untouched. The thought of starting it makes me feel a bit sick. 
I don’t feel like I’m in the right frame of mind to work full time - I’ve just returned to my job after being off for about 5 months and already I feel that it’s miserable and soul destroying…

Long story short, I feel lost. I have no dreams or desires just now - I just wish I had some cash so that I could disappear for a year or so without telling anyone where I’m going, but I’m penniless so that’s not an option…

- rant over.